My addiction started when I was 14 years old. I started out using, what I thought were non gateway drugs, marijuana and alcohol. Soon afterwards my mothers boyfriend gave me my first pill, an OxyContin 80mg which resulted in me falling asleep at a gas pump at the WaWa on route 40. Of course it didn’t end there. Most people would have probably gotten the picture after that, but I didn’t.
A couple of weeks later my mother gave me my first blue bag of heroin and a hit of crack cocaine to follow. From that day forward, I became immediately addicted and stayed in my addiction for years. I would go to Kirkwood detox every time I thought that I finally had enough. The only problem with that was it was only a 5 day treatment. I told myself “I’m not doing a 30-60 day rehab. That’s just not for me!”
Here I am, 26 years old and I finally attended my first rehab treatment for 30 days. I actually got a lot of structure that I so desperately needed, but failed to ever realize. I am a very stubborn person, but I have learned to tone my stubbornness down a notch, because not only is it an unattractive quality, but it’s also brought me down through everything I tried doing.
I believe in my heart that the only way to ever get clean and sober and live a normal life is to put faith in yourself and god. Today, I actually have the lord in my life. As we all know he doesn’t have to be everyone’s higher power, but it’s imperative that you have a higher power through your process of recovery.
Today, I am 36 days clean and I feel absolutely amazing inside and out. I don’t have to go back to dirty motel rooms, I no longer have to sleep in a laundry mat floor inside an apartment building all because I needed another one. Most importantly, I never have to sell myself short of a beautiful life ever again. I may be an addict for the rest of my life, but that doesn’t make me any less of a person to the rest of the world. It simply means, I was given the disease of addiction. Today I can say that I am a proud recovering addict. This is me, my story, the story of a girl. I couldn’t have done half of the things I have accomplished without the atTacK addiction house. It has given me the strength, hope and opportunity to achieve all of my goals that I have been dreaming of. For that- I will forever be grateful.
-atTAcK addiction Transitional House Resident